Have you read my latest blog, We’re both misfits, you and me? It has opened some great conversations with women like us and sparked an idea that I would love to share with you if you’re game…
I’m committed to being authentic and vulnerable in what I say and how I share my life NOW because that wasn’t always the case. When I was hiding in plain sight, trying to force a perception of me that fit what I thought everyone else expected, I was lonely and miserable and I suspect that, in turn, made others feel lonely and miserable as I tried to elevate myself by pretending to be an unobtainable version of perfect. At some point I couldn’t take it anymore and started poking my head out of the Perfection Closet to let my messiness breathe. I was sharing more honest parts about myself and my life and like a brand new air mattress fresh out of it’s original box, there was no putting me back in once I got out. I didn’t fit in the box anymore. I had expanded.
What followed was the freedom to lean into who I am and acknowledge that I am indeed, far from perfect. (Queue the gasp, I know!) Admitting that what I thought in the past was wrong or owning that I don’t actually have it all together has been liberating. If you can identify with the feelings I’ve struggled with, and in many cases am still struggling with today, then I’m also committed to showing up for you and not letting you feel alone.
Because…You. Are not. Alone.
Writing my upcoming book, “I Think I’m Doing This Wrong” I’ve been tackling my long held limiting beliefs and how they came unraveled in my 30’s and 40’s. Working with my coach, Sarah Goodson, we recently discovered I still have a few of what I call “Mandy’s Myths” that are the proverbial gum on the bottom of my shoe, clinging on for dear life and leaving a messy residue everywhere I go. So what better way to work on them than to write about them and share them with a few friends on the internet, right?
Sarah damn near broke my brain when she shared that internal myths are actually just misunderstandings.
Internal myths = Misunderstandings.
I’ll give you a second there to absorb that.
The only power they hold is the power of misunderstanding.
I was no longer on the hook for rewriting all of the universal laws in order to rearrange my brain into a newer, better, more functional entity to exist through. Nope! I had simply misunderstood a few things and THAT is something I can seek to understand, learn more about and lean into the pain to find a different path or meaning. So that is what I’m going to do.
For the next five months, as an email newsletter**, I’ll be sharing my thoughts on these current “Mandy Myths”, these things getting in my way of doing what I really want to do in life:
- Myth #1: I don’t know how to do it.
- Myth #2: I’m not good enough at it.
- Myth #3: I need (spouse, parent, boss, etc) to agree with me and validate me in order to be ok, loved, enough or worthy.
- Myth #4: I have to do it all myself.
- Myth #5: I have to be The Strong One.
Do any of these resonate?
Which one sticks with you in your gut?
Tell me I’m not alone!
The stories we tell ourselves can be very powerful and so painfully alienating. My passion right now is to tell my own, out loud, so I can course correct and lean into my joy instead of my fear. One of my favorite humans, Brene Brown said “The opposite of belonging is fitting in.” and I felt that in my CORE. There will be no more trying hard just to fit in by being something I’m not or adjusting myself to make sure you like me enough to accept me. I would rather belong by being my true, sometimes socially awkward, adhd brained, goofball humored, big loving self and find those who love me as I am while loving others as they are, effectively belonging to each other in a way that fitting in never made space for.
So if you’ve made it this far, and you’re nodding your head silently screaming ‘hell yes’ while you’re reading this on your phone in the grocery line or in the midst of a chaotic work day or waiting in the kid carpool pick up line or late at night in bed when you should really be calling it a night, then welcome to the virtual party and I’ll see you soon with the first of Mandy’s Myths, I think we’re both going to need this one.
Until then…do good, be good and if you can’t do either, just don’t be an asshole. That will be good enough.
** To get the newsletter directly by email, you can sign up here: https://mandyburnett.com/newsletter
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