An oldie but a goodie…I needed a good chuckle at my own expense…bet you can appreciate it too.
Knock on the bedroom door. Groggily open it ready to be upset with my 5 year old for waking me 20 minutes before my alarm goes off only to find my 11 year old, who has been fighting with her little brother about how he needs to get ready right away. We have an HOUR before we leave for school. He takes about 15 MINUTES to get ready.
Should have called in sick to life.
Annual pap smear.
Doctor is running late.
Lovely exam, always a good time.
And let’s throw a tetanus shot in there to sweeten the deal.
Ran home to grab my work cell phone that I left charging. Checked my bank account online to transfer some cash and there is a zero balance.
In all four accounts.
Day before there was a SIGNIFICANT amount more than that!
Must be a system error. Call the bank. Mr. Customer Service puts me on hold to figure it out. When he comes back on the line he says “Found the golden ticket-I know where your money went. I’ll transfer you to legal. The IRS took it.”
Yup-should not have gotten out of bed today. Knew it.
The room stops spinning and I get on the phone with the beloved IRS. Apparently, there’s an old tax bill that, lets just say is not my responsibility but has my SSN associated with it. And the IRS? They do not like being ignored. And the other party responsible? He was in “ignoring the problem” mode.
IRS wants their money.
So they took it.
Every last cent I had.
Call in mentally ill for work.
Finally get all the paperwork necessary for the IRS to release what I know now is called a levy on my bank accounts. Should have access to my money again-all of it-by Monday. They are the IRS so SHOULD is the operative word here. Mr. Stork of the Detroit branch of the Internal Revenue System-thank you-you are wonderful-even if your sense of humor was a little off.
Time for a bikini wax. And way overdue. Because at this point-my life today already sucks, might as well inflict as much pain as I can so that tomorrow can be a better day!
HOLY CRAP THAT HURTS!
It’s just the start of my darling daughter, Taylor’s, softball game. Coldest I’ve ever been at a softball game. My butt is frozen solid by the time we leave at 9:30pm with three tired kids and a headache.
Should have called in sick to life. I know.
But Thursday will be a better day.
My little guy Jason is not feeling so hot on the way to school.
Really not feeling well.
I don’t believe him.
So he throws up all over my car to prove his point.
I give up.
At least for today.
Moral to the story?
Just do the next necessary thing.
And laugh at yourself.
Twice a day, or as needed.